“300″ – Clarification

The number 1 legit question I’ve received so far following today’s post (behind, “Why in the world did you post those man boobs?!?”) was, “So, how was 300?” 

Before I answer this question, I need to clarify something: the Four-Cheese pizza that I ordered at Pizzeria Uno really, really, really did a number on my stomach. I’ve honestly never been in more pain in my life – this includes a dislocated shoulder, vice grips locked on my ass thanks to my brother Chris, and sitting through the movie “It’s Pat” in its entirety waiting for a funny line.  I had 4 serious wave bouts where I actually considered leaving the theatre and heading to the bathroom.  Keep in mind, leaving the theater in mid-movie is a sin in my book. 

Anyway, it’s a guy’s movie, with plenty of decapitations and limb slicing action.  The CGI graphics are amazing, and I’m the type of person who normally hates computer graphics (anyone who saw the “remastered” versions of E.T. and Star Wars should agree).  It’s also Rated R for reasons other than violence, which is a bonus in my book. 

The script was decent, but I thought parts were a bit slow.  Again, this may be because time was nearly at a stand still as my toes curled in terror and pain at the acid eating away at my esophagus.  Too much information?  Too bad.  I had to sit through it, so now you do too.  I think I showed tremendous will power and control of my body.  Suggestion for National Amusements: you should pump the surround sound into the bathrooms too so people can go in peace.  

 Still, if you’re looking for a pump up movie, I’d recommend it.